Category Archives: Culture

Music to listen to over and over again

There isn’t music much more basic than a piano and a voice or two. Every now and then I come across a piece that I have to listen to over and over again. Granted, part of that is my personality (or rather, autism), but I dare say that many would listen to this beautiful song and not want to hear it again immediately.

Watch the video; don’t just listen – at least the first time. The words and eerie background animation shadows tell a sad winter tale, but with such simple, haunting music.

So beautiful, so quiet, like falling snow. But when you are a wet and cold. When you are walking alone. When it is just getting dark. Each time you listen.

Some comments about my autism

Yes, I am on the autistic spectrum. I have what used to be referred to as Asperger’s Disorder. No, you can’t tell by looking at me. In fact, you probably wouldn’t be able to tell even by spending time with me.

Women/girls are harder to diagnose and recognize with Autistic Spectrum Disorder than men/boys.

That is a fact.

Here are some things that have been said to me when I have disclosed my disorder:

  • No you don’t [have Asperger’s]. My [male relative] has it and I know what it looks like.
  • (After I smiled at a joke.) See? You’re social!
  • Oh, is that the diagnosis-du-jour?

And even after hearing that I have a disability, harsh words have been used to describe me rather than understand a lot of what makes me appear to be difficult IS the disability.

Why are Aspies invisible?

But do you really see something if you don’t have a word for it?” An interesting article that also links to the Radiolab program that discusses color and how humans may not have seen blue until after we’ve developed the ability to see so many other colors. When I read that sentence, I had a sudden epiphany.

One of the constant and most consistent statements (feelings) among persons with Asperger’s Syndrome (now known as Autistic Spectrum Disorder) is that we are invisible. I have felt this way my entire life, and this has been witnessed by my husband over and over, where people just bypass me completely as if I am invisible. It’s terribly frustrating, and completely devastating to one’s self-esteem. And why are we invisible? Could it really be that NT (neuro-typicals, or, persons not on the autistic spectrum) have this sense of us, but without a word or other means to describe us, simply ignore us?